yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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