Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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