Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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