shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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