So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize