piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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