Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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