how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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