I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
