is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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