he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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