I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
