my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
