like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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