So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
