I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
