her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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