Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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