There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Holy shit dude........stairs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
