please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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