sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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