I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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