no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
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