She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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