Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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