It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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