he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
