Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
