My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
