But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
