i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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