Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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