You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
