I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
