'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere