from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok