I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?