Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(843): View more from South Carolina

When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.

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(954): View more from Florida

The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(979): View more from Texas

We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.

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(801): View more from Utah

two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

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(312): View more from Illinois

Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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(330): View more from Ohio

apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.

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