Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone