and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
