you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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