very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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