So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We're too hungover to prance.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
