he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize