shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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