Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
