he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
