I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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