Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Randomize
