Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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