Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
