I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize
