don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?