come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.