My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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