Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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