I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
