Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
