dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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