the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
